As promised in my previous post on sexism, I am going to share my “feminine manifesto” or a short primer on how to succeed as a woman in our post-feminist society. Of course, this is largely theoretical and tongue-in-cheek, so I expect to have my ideas challenged.

1. Do not wear a pantsuit
(unless, of course, you want to)

As much as I love androgyny and the bold trouser style of the 1920s, the modern pantsuit is worn more as an imitation of the professional man’s attire so as to camouflage the woman’s femininity. We foolishly believe that we will be taken more seriously if we dress manly or asexual. First of all, men will NEVER view women as male no matter how much we mimic their dress code. Moreover, why should we? I do not want to be seen as a man nor do I need to copy the fashion they have established for themselves. Second, if a guy is inclined to objectify females sexually, then he will do that regardless of what we wear. And further, if our clothing distracts him from his work, then that is his weakness to bear not ours. Finally, do you think men wake up in the morning and say to themselves “how can I make myself look less masculine and less sexual for the office today?” No, and we should likewise adorn ourselves however we see fit as long as it is suitable for the job…whether you are an Audrey or a Kate.

2. Do not be afraid to show emotions
(notwithstanding Hillary’s recent display of tears)

One of the biggest gender myths is that females are more emotional than males. As a result, women in the workplace try to imitate the calm, cool and collected stereotype of men so as not to be seen as weak. However, this usually succeeds in making us appear as stone cold bitches. What people fail to notice is that males are extremely emotional beings in all areas of life. In the corporate world, I have witnessed executive men scream at each other, shake their fists in the air, get red-faced with excitement and even cry in frustration or jubilation. Perhaps it is acceptable for them to show this kind of vulnerability regarding their work or sports, but make no mistake that these feelings are quite common everywhere. There are some who will use sexist terms such as “wussy” to describe this behavior, but it is equally male in origin. Thus, if a guy thinks your displays of passion are too “girly,” then that is his shortcoming and he will view women as the weaker sex regardless of how we present ourselves. So, as stated above, we should just be true to ourselves and show whatever range of emotions are appropriate for the situation…whether you are the no-nonsense pragmatic type or creative and expressive.

3. Be a queen, princess and/or coquette
(I am probably going to get in trouble for this one)

Women have much more power in this world than most of us realize. We have enormous influence as mothers, sisters, daughters, wives, girlfriends and so on. In general, we are known for our strong communication skills, organizational abilities and strengths in multi-tasking. For many generations and in various cultures, we have run households and managed large groups of people with authority and compassion. All of which are essential attributes for success in business and government. Males have come to rely on females in many social contexts and we need to be able to translate that confidence and leadership to public roles. I think this will occur when women start acting more like themselves, with all of their natural talents, and less like a Woman King. As mentioned before, men will NEVER see us as male regardless of how we act, nor should we want them to. They will, however, view females as one of the above archetypes and we should therefore feel free to capitalize on our innate persuasion. Depending on the circumstance, I think it is entirely appropriate for a woman to take on the role of a nurturing maternal figure, a high-maintenance neophyte or a sexual/playful creature. Some such famous women come to mind: Cleopatra, Margaret Thatcher, Princess Diana and Madonna.

In conclusion, I believe women will be able to break through the glass ceiling once and for all by setting themselves apart from men rather than trying to blend in. Perhaps because we have had so few female role models in higher office, we default to conventional male characteristics in order to be seen as credible leaders. I am not even sure if society expects that of us. I think we will have a greater impact by establishing our own identity as rulers which highlights our unique competencies.

My mom once gave me some sage advice that neither of us were ever able to follow: Learn how to do everything, but never let them know…

There has been a lot of discussion lately on gender and race with regards to the current presidential campaign. While there are no doubt many other factors at play, to deny that racism and sexism influence opinion in this country is incredibly naive. Sure, there are times when the race or gender cards are played sharkily, but in most cases the suites are correct. Being a 30-something female who has lived and worked in a variety of different settings, I can sadly say that inequity is still very much a part of our world.

Like many other girls of the X-generation, I grew up with what seemed to be all the opportunities of my male counterparts. I appeared to be treated equally by my teachers and mentors and, with the exception of sports, was allowed to compete with boys in all activities and excel in my own right. There were strong women in my life who showed me anything was possible and elders who reminded me of the struggles of those who came before. Nevertheless, I recall never relating to modern feminism (as opposed to the civil rights sentiment born out of the early suffrage movement) because it felt like it had turned negative and cynical. As you know, young people respond more favorably to messages of hope and all evidence in my microcosm pointed to an optimistic future.

I see a lot of parallels with the youth today who believe that these issues are no longer relevant…that we have successfully moved beyond our fractured past and all is copasetic. Like myself at their age, many of them have simply not been exposed to the harsh realities yet. While society has shown remarkable advancement on the surface for women and African Americans, centuries of oppression eventually reveal themselves when you step outside of the liberty shelter. I think the shroud was beginning to be lifted from my eyes somewhere around my 25th year. For one, I had moved back to the South after spending two decades in progressive California only to find that not much had changed with regards to prejudice since the 1970s. Sure the laws were different, the language more careful and faith-based groups were attempting to be inclusive, but the results of underlying separateness was still very apparent (for all types of disenfranchised people).

The other development that led to my demystification was moving into my mid-career in a male dominated profession. I never had any problems climbing the ladder of success alongside or ahead of other men in the industry. I also very much enjoyed working with them (still do) and felt I was being adequately recognized for my achievements. The difference was that the closer I came to leadership roles, the fewer women remained. Moreover, the males holding the top positions were frequently less capable or experienced than the females who were primed for the job. As a result, these men often felt threatened and were more inclined to steal ideas or take undeserved credit in order to maintain their status. To be fair, though, this is a character issue and not a gender one. But since women tend to be impeded from reaching these high levels, they are more often on the receiving end of this behavior with little recourse.

There are many possible reasons for why women have not been able to completely break through the glass ceilings in business and politics, but not all of them are sexist. Men dominate most sectors by virtue of our history and therefore most policies and practices were designed by them. Thus, the environment favors their advancement while creating an invisible barrier to entry for newcomers (namely females or men who are not part of the establishment). It is human nature, I suppose, for anyone to want to hold on to their privileges and form networks that benefit them. This camaraderie, however, promotes a culture that gives free passes to some while excluding certain high performers from upward mobility.

As Hillary has shown, it is not a lack of ability or ambition or assertiveness that is preventing females from negotiating equal pay and opportunity. Stay tuned for a more interesting post on what I believe women are doing wrong and how they can advance further in this society.